Yesterday it finally hit me. All of a sudden I got it. Why I've been so down and uninspired. It's the process of getting adjusted to a place. Culture shock. Honeymoon is followed by a less pleasant phase. For some time I felt like I had lost the flow. Like I'd stepped out of the holy spirit. It scared me a little bit, not only because nothing seemed to go my way, but most of all because I had no clue what to do to find my way back. And quite frankly I didn't have the energy to do very much.
This morning I was going through some worship songs and these words hit me and cleared all fog.
If my heart has grown cold / there your love will unfold / When I'm blind to my way / there your spirit will pray
In a split second I felt so freed. Again I was reminded how there is nothing I need to do. How there is nothing I can do. Because Jesus does it all. Funny how true it is that the truth sets us free. Suddenly I was free to pray with a fervor I've been lacking the last few months. I felt life in me. And I prayed with ease for people that hurt me. And I prayed in my spirit all the way to church. And i relized my need to worship. To focus my attention on what is true.