Some weeks ago I felt like I had the revelation of a lifetime, concerning this thing about boys’ and girls’ respective responsibility in a relationship.
As is wellknown, we are different. Sometime more different than we come to think of. Especially when it comes to the physical side. My, and many other girls’ experience is that it is most often the boy who takes initiative in the pfysical arena. Girls often feel that they have to take responsibility totally on their own, and saying ‘no’ is not always easy.
But when I heard of a couple at Bethel School of Ministry (for those of you who are familiar with this Bible school in the US) my mind was really enlightened concerning one specific detail. This couple had done their first year out of three at the Bible school and started dating. During the summer it so happened that they started sleeping together and ended up pregnant. When the new semester started, they were convinced they were going to be kicked out of the school. As they approached their leader he asked,
- ”So, what’s the problem?” The couple looked confused at each other.
- ”Did you not tell him...?”
- ”What do you mean ‘what’s the problem’? We are pregnant...” Teh leader answered:
- ”Yes, that’s the consequence, but what is the PROBLEM?”
As the continued talking, they boy started revealing how he often had an urge to go home in the evenings after spending the day together with his girlfriend. But since the girl felt so rejected, he would stay a little longer and then one thing would lead to the next.
And it hit me like a lightning bolt that this is what so often happens! Girls have a big wound on the inside in general which expresses itself in a huge fear of being rejected and left alone. That is our sin as girls, that we do not put our hope in Jesus as our faithful lover. Boys alo have a responsibility not to fall for this, but it really helped me to see that girls also play an important part in why it so often goes wrong, and boys play another part that looks completely different.
I feel the constant need of repenting from my fear, to seek healing from my inner wounds and trust that God is my protection and my fighter.
(Concerning the couple at Bethel School of Ministries, they got married and already before the baby was born there were many prophetic words spoekn over her. That is the power of grace.)